The Shower Curtain Catastrophe

What happens when a sighted wife leaves the shower curtain half open for her blind husband? A big mess! One evening my wife was cleaning out the bathtub drain and left the shower curtain half open. And of course, here I come, the happy blind man, whistling a tune, ready to get clean. One important piece of information here is that I get in the shower on the opposite side of where she left the curtain open. So, I pull the shower curtain on my side open, get in and turn on the water. To make matters worse, I got a new bar of soap for Christmas called, Christmas coal, and I was excited to use it.

About thirty minutes later, I finished singing my last holiday song, “Joy to the world.” I soaped myself up really good with my fun black soap bar that was made from black tea. I was enjoying myself and the only thing I noticed during the course of my shower performance was that it seemed a bit more drafty in there than usual. My singing voice also had a bit more echo to it. The thought, “Why are these two things different tonight,” did cross my mind, but I was trying my new bar of soap and singing like I was in the front row of the Pilgrim Church choir.

It was then time to step out of the shower and instead of stepping on my soft bath mat, I made a splash. I took another step and made another splash and then made more and more splashes. This was not good. I wanted to shout for my wifey, but she was taking a nap. There was no joy that I just brought here to the world! I wiped up what I could and then decided that I did need my wifey, Lauren. When she looked upon the bathroom, I learned that not only was there water everywhere, but black soap suds were apparently in abundance. Wifey said it looked like a soap sud crime scene. Matters got worse and intensified when we realized that water went through the bathroom floor and was dripping through the ceiling into our basement. We hurried down the stairs to the basement and found where the water was coming through the ceiling and forming puddles on the floor. I’m afraid that I must also report my wife’s statement as she looked up at the wet basement ceiling, “Stick your hand up there. I think black soap suds are trying to ooze through the ceiling tiles.”

This is an incident that most married couples would never have. My wife couldn’t believe that I didn’t notice the shower curtain was open during my thirty minute soap and song opus. All I could do was give her my apologetic look and say, “Welcome to living the blind life, baby.”